As far as Key West Things To Do, Don't Do THIS...

This is
not a list of things to do.  It's a list of things NOT to do!  Make sure your Things To Do List does not include these, or you're almost guaranteed to piss off the Locals!


Want to Look Like A TOURON?  Add These To Your Key West Things To Do List:

As far as your Key West Things to Do List,  DON'T do these things unless you want to look like a Touron (a cross between a Tourist and a Moron, remember?):

     1.  Litter. This not only makes you a Touron, but a fucking IDIOT Touron! Look down at the street drains, and you'll notice a lot of them say "Drains to Ocean".  So yeah, this means cigarette butts too.  This does not, however, include leaving trash on the top of a full trash can--that's not your fault;

     2.  Riding a scoter or E-Car with the turn signal blinking.  Trust me, if you don't get the middle finger from a Local, they're sure thinking about it.  I personally know of people who have been seriously injured and killed because someone thought they were turning and didn't, and vise-versa;

     3.  And while we're at it, don't ride around town on a scooter honking the horn for no reason. But if you're under 25 years old and there's a pack of you, you're probably going to do it anyway. Because you're a Touron;

     4.  Ride in an Electric Car (E-Car) without the seat belt on. It's like an $114 fine per person, and it's just plain stupid.  I've seen an E-Car take a turn and a woman fell out onto the street, and into oncoming traffic!  She didn't get hit, but I'm sure she needed a change of underwear; 

     5.  Not paying attention crossing the street, blocking sidewalks, etc.  C'mon, really?  CLASSIC Touron move;

     6.  Wearing your Key West T-Shirt IN Key West!  Hate to break it to you, Touron, but we know where you are.  Now, if you're down here during a cold spell and have to buy a sweatshirt, that's different.

More To Come...