DON'T LEAVE YOUR TURN SIGNAL ON!!!
As far as your Key West Things to Do List, DON'T do these things unless you want to look like a Touron (a cross between a Tourist and a Moron, remember?):
1. Litter. This not only makes you a Touron, but a fucking IDIOT Touron! Look down at the street drains, and you'll notice a lot of them say "Drains to Ocean". So yeah, this means cigarette butts too. This does not, however, include leaving trash on the top of a full trash can--that's not your fault;
2. Riding a scoter or E-Car with the turn signal blinking. Trust me, if you don't get the middle finger from a Local, they're sure thinking about it. I personally know of people who have been seriously injured and killed because someone thought they were turning and didn't, and vise-versa;
3. And while we're at it, don't ride around town on a scooter honking the horn for no reason. But if you're under 25 years old and there's a pack of you, you're probably going to do it anyway. Because you're a Touron;
4. Ride in an Electric Car (E-Car) without the seat belt on. It's like an $114 fine per person, and it's just plain stupid. I've seen an E-Car take a turn and a woman fell out onto the street, and into oncoming traffic! She didn't get hit, but I'm sure she needed a change of underwear;
5. Not paying attention crossing the street, blocking sidewalks, etc. C'mon, really? CLASSIC Touron move;
6. Wearing your Key West T-Shirt IN Key West! Hate to break it to you, Touron, but we know where you are. Now, if you're down here during a cold spell and have to buy a sweatshirt, that's different.